Helplessness

posted by kathz

I'm used to being a helper. I'm used to doing things for other people. And suddenly the best I can do for others is nothing at all - or what seems like nothing at all. At the same time lots of people - often people whose work has been barely noticed - are doing a great deal to help people like me. They are the shelf-stackers, the shop assistants, the cleaners, the transport workers, the people who make deliveries and so many others as well as the porters, pharmacists, care workers, nurses, doctors and others within the health and  social care sectors. Members of the armed forces - now working to build hospitals that may save lives - are doing more than I am. I'm mostly staying home.

At home I have enough to eat. I can cope with the lack of flour or tinned tomatoes. I'm warm. I'm safe. Others are going without food, have no home or are in places that are not safe. I am privileged.

I am privileged without the power to help anyone or to change the world.

As a Quaker and as a human being I care about equality. At the moment Quakers in Britain are considering questions of privilege and inclusion and it is an uncomfortable process. No-one likes to be reminded that they are more privileged than others - and people who are less privileged often find it painful to talk about their experiences of exclusion. Some people will argue that privilege is allied to power and that power can be used to achieve change for good. They can point to cases where this has happened.

The effects of the Covid-19 virus remind me how profoundly unequal society is in Britain and in the wider world. My privilege is not earned. It is a matter of luck - and it isn't accompanied by power. 

Some of the people doing vital work at  the moment may be among those who lack a safe place to live. They may be dependent on food banks. At the same time they are risking their lives for people like me.

Helplessness is hard to live with. How much more pleasant it is to help people than to receive help. But if I'm able to to offer help again, I hope I remember this experience of helplessness. I may find I know a little more about how those needing help feel. I must remember that those needing help may be among those who worked to save lives or make other people's lives bearable.

As Quakers, we look for that of God in everyone. We need to see what we can learn from the words and experience of others, whether or not they are Quakers. We don't own the whole truth - we are seekers. And we don't practise equality yet thought we value it - we're just trying to get there. Helplessness may turn out to help me on the way.